Subscribe

Disabled Dreamer

Author: Nicole Kinzel

  • Unwanted Replays Dream March 29th

    Perspective: first person I am sitting in my bedroom. It’s the day that Samba my bird goes to the rescue. He is being transferred to a carry cage. Another bird remains in the cage. One I had to send to another home in real life much earlier for beating up my oldest. “This isn’t right”…

  • What I Love Poem

    I love it when I smell those soothing scents. Jasmine and wisteria. Mountain misery and redwood pine. Rain and ocean mist. The scents that roll over and comfortably blanket like cut grass on a warm day. *** I love it when I taste what I adore. Macaroons and tea. Homemade boysenberry and chocolate chip ice…

  • How to Feel Better

    I’m going to come out right from the start before I get anyone’s hopes up: I don’t have a solid answer. Everyone is unique and has ways that work better for them than other people. People often have multiple different ways to feel better as well. I can however share observations and the more important…

  • Where I Am Poem

    I meet you here. In the unreality and a different world. I can be what you or I need. Here I can explore and fight. But this time without fear. *** You meet me here. Looking for a friend. Looking for competition. Looking for someone with a lowered guard. For you know I am without…

  • Bullied by a Teacher

    I have mentioned that I did very well in school grade wise. High GPA and little need to study. This was not always the case. There was a period of about three and a half years where I did very poorly in almost every study. Nothing happened at home to cause this and my parents…

  • Public School And Disability

    School was hard for me. I know a lot of people say that, but for me it was for slightly different reasons. All things considered I did very well grades wise. I was mainstreamed and I graduated high school with a 3.97 GPA and was always on honor roll middle school and up. I rarely…

  • It Waits Prose

    I can never tell when it will show. Teeth sharp as needles. It could be today with a glance at the horribly familiar. Always remembering and never forgetting. It could be next week with a familiar wail. Too close for comfort. It could be next year at the anniversary of that evil time. A clock…

  • Emotion Body Connection

    My current dealings with grief have reinforced the idea that emotions have a much bigger connection to the body than is easily visible. Grief has brought on a shortness of breath, full body aches, headaches, digestive issues, nausea, and chest pain. The headaches might be expected for sadness but the rest of the symptoms are…

  • Sometimes Things Just Don’t Work Out

    This is the opposite end of the spectrum from the last post I wrote and, frankly, one I was neither expecting or hoping to write. As I have mentioned, I’m having to re home a cherished pet bird. Last I mentioned, a friend was taking him in and I felt great comfort from it. Unfortunately…

  • Sometimes Barriers Exist For a Reason

    Sometimes, the first impulse I get when I see a barrier, railing, or window is that tiny little goblin mode voice of intrusive thought that says “Run through it!”. Everyone gets those little intrusive thoughts. Does not mean that I nor anyone else would act on them. Often these thoughts are just simple “what if…