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Disabled Dreamer

Author: Nicole Kinzel

  • Just a Little Treat Poem

    A grand gesture is nice. Even more if unearned. But so is just a little treat. Like an ice cream cone on a hot summer day. Cheap but an act of care. Equally unearned but even better if gifted. *** I like being treated on my birthday, but that is one day out of the…

  • The Mask Poem

    I want to rip it off. Does not matter if it has become your face by now. The blood can fly. Does not matter if it is yours or mine. As long as it is no longer a part of you. Destroyed beyond use. *** I was so confused when I realized that you wore…

  • Wonder Poem

    A baby girl sits in the pouch of her mom’s front carrier. Fool’s gold glitters on the ground and stuck in the walls of a cave. Sparkling like treasure far beyond it’s actual value. Bright enough to draw the attention of other little kids. Scrambling around with their little fingernails at any pieces within reach.…

  • Staring At The Ground Poem

    I vividly remember staring at the carpet in elementary school. The colorful stripes that waved back if I stared at it too long. How my eyes could play tricks and catch that carpet breathing and swirling around if I looked just right. An act that entertained me while listening to the teacher. A little activity…

  • My Place Poem

    There is a place where I have everything I want. Where I live in a building of my design. Surrounded by friends and needed comfort. All the tastes, touches and smells I could ever want. Guarded from all discomfort. Where all I can find is more of myself. *** It is a place of vacation.…

  • Rule Breaker Poem

    I have never been a rule breaker. Afraid of getting in trouble for the smallest mistake. On edge when I feel like I might be confronted. Sick to my stomach. Ready to shrink into the fetal position out of submission. A learned meekness. *** Worse still, I was taught that everything is transactional. Love is…

  • On Concert Poem

    The magic never starts immediately. Period of golden silence. Like the preparation of a ritual. Slight action here or there but just cogs winding up for action. The quiet before stepping through a portal. Then the silence is shattered into a million fragments. *** My heart flutters with the change. Beams of light gather around…

  • Reaching Out Poem

    I will continue to reach out. When the difficulty of life is too extreme. When I need more than an imaginary listener. When the grey clouds stick around for far too long. When my mind is going too fast to slow down on it’s own. I will continue to reach out until I fear they…

  • Perspective Change Poem

    I am faced with a challenge. A problem needed to be solved. Monumental in difficulty. One I need to find the solution for. There has to be an answer. It would not be a designed problem otherwise. *** I have done everything to try to solve it. Tried a hundred different methods. Even tried solving…

  • Cold Signs Poem

    Neon signs blink through the night. There are so many of them. Screaming at me without a tone. Calling for a certain decision to be made. One that might be drowned out in the end. *** They burn cold. Bringing me no comfort. Only of what to do or not do. No actual promises given.…