I vividly remember staring at the carpet in elementary school. The colorful stripes that waved back if I stared at it too long. How my eyes could play tricks and catch that carpet breathing and swirling around if I looked just right. An act that entertained me while listening to the teacher. A little activity…

There is a place where I have everything I want. Where I live in a building of my design. Surrounded by friends and needed comfort. All the tastes, touches and smells I could ever want. Guarded from all discomfort. Where all I can find is more of myself. *** It is a place of vacation.…

I have never been a rule breaker. Afraid of getting in trouble for the smallest mistake. On edge when I feel like I might be confronted. Sick to my stomach. Ready to shrink into the fetal position out of submission. A learned meekness. *** Worse still, I was taught that everything is transactional. Love is…

The magic never starts immediately. Period of golden silence. Like the preparation of a ritual. Slight action here or there but just cogs winding up for action. The quiet before stepping through a portal. Then the silence is shattered into a million fragments. *** My heart flutters with the change. Beams of light gather around…

I will continue to reach out. When the difficulty of life is too extreme. When I need more than an imaginary listener. When the grey clouds stick around for far too long. When my mind is going too fast to slow down on it’s own. I will continue to reach out until I fear they…

I am faced with a challenge. A problem needed to be solved. Monumental in difficulty. One I need to find the solution for. There has to be an answer. It would not be a designed problem otherwise. *** I have done everything to try to solve it. Tried a hundred different methods. Even tried solving…

Neon signs blink through the night. There are so many of them. Screaming at me without a tone. Calling for a certain decision to be made. One that might be drowned out in the end. *** They burn cold. Bringing me no comfort. Only of what to do or not do. No actual promises given.…

So many want themselves or others to be immortal. To watch the seasons pass without care. To have the anxiety fall away. Special and protected. Fully in control of the clock. But is that what they really want? *** Look at the bright chaos in life. Struggling to pay the light bills. Grey responsibility heavy…

The first question comes. Will you be my hands? I have certain interests and hobbies. My body does not comply. If I ever want to do it, I need help. Complete ability for the skill set. *** You say “Of course I will help. I have that interest too!” and the second question arrives. Am…

Some nights the waters are still. Cool breeze on my skin as the boat gently rocks side to side like a cradle. Other times I drown underneath a sky more water than air. Needing to be yanked out by the sun before I lose which way is up. There is a third kind as well.…