“Effects of Writing”, charcoal and acrylic paint, 2018
First novel is currently in progress. Working title is “Soul Fire”. As of January 2024, 174 pages of unformatted rough draft exist. The progress has been slower than I would like but writing is definitely a process. When it is finished, my goal is to enter it into a fantasy publishing house. The main themes include: trauma, healing, identity, and faith. I will update when there is more information.
The moon always comes again. Yet I have run out of feelings to feel. These days I only wake to sad vibes. Trying to live when those dreams bring more comfort. Like a delayed hug from the past. Yet, I’m tired of dreaming. *** I just want to live. Not holding on until yet another dream. Feel something real that is not another echo of myself. Isolated in the comfort of what might be. Do not let dreams be all that is left. For I have lost too much by now to fall asleep again.
I never thought it would be so. Distant as a childhood story. Temporary as a sad song. A trait that belongs to someone else. *** I never thought it would be so. I knew it lurked ahead. I just hoped it would not. Imaginary as that monster under the bed. *** I never thought it would be so. Yet it is. Fear met head on until I never can again. But somehow it still eluded me. *** Where am I supposed to go from here?
Oh dear dad, I hate that I am so attached even though you are never around. Excited over the tiniest scrap of attention. It never pans out but all you have to do is smile to set me right back to square one. How is a person supposed to heal from this situation? Forever mourning a ghost. Never to have a single interest recognized or have a single positive touch. I do not believe you anymore even as you haunt this house. Yet, I crave what I should have had. Oh dear God, I hate that I do not feel…
I owe everyone an explanation for my abrupt take off and infrequent posting. I have felt off and fatigued for months. Barely able to concentrate on a focused task. All of it culminated in a sudden ER trip very recently. My oxygen levels dropped to 89% and blood pressure went sky high. While I was…
It is time to meet the accumulation of my work over the last year. Meet “Fragments of a Dreaming Mind”, a collection of edited poetry organized into book form. A little under 300 of my creative writing pieces with many of which will be familiar to the people that read here often. My usual themes…
The final lap for publishing my first book of poetry is here! I just have to handle the final illustrations and cover art. The manuscript is fully done. A collection of some of my best work over the last year edited, improved and structured for better clarity. Illustration is expensive so I have started a…
Disabled Dreamer 
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