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Disabled Dreamer

Author: Nicole Kinzel

  • On PMDD

    Not to read for men sensitive about women’s issues. Pre menstrual dysphoric disorder or PMDD, was not an issue I knew much about until I was told I had it by a psychiatrist. I’ve always had a really bad menstrual cycle but they suddenly started getting a lot worse and not in a way you’d…

  • Him Lyrical Poem

    There is a stranger in my house,Though I know him well.Great cousin to my Father’s spirit, And mirror to his touch. I know his face, his hands, his feet,But his eyes are like intruders on a hollow night.His heart only pretending to beat.Mouth controlled by some strange power. I remember who he was supposed to…

  • On Medical PTSD

    In continuation from my failed Spinraza experience. I noticed the effects of PTSD almost immediately but not in waking hours at first. Of course I was grieving the loss of a treatment. I felt like I had lost my future all over again, but that was separate from PTSD. Where it was immediately evident was…

  • Mannequin Narrative Poem

    I sit with my face to the west.Others look at me with a smile and rush by.But their faked interest is no more than a whimpering lie.They see themselves as best. They think oh how strange is she with failed limb.Don’t look too long, don’t cross that line.Their inner selves know that they could be…

  • The Quest For an SMA Treatment Part 1

    I heard about the FDA approving a treatment for SMA as soon as it was announced. The easy name for it is Spinraza. It was labeled as a maintenance drug meaning I would retain my current physical strength and possibly increase just a little bit. I was/am willing to do anything I could to improve…

  • Nostalgia Lyric Poem

    Nostalgia is such a fickle feeling.A delicate flower with razor thorns.Bright enough to draw the eye to its color,But sharp enough to wound if gripped too tightly. It is a dangerous vine to me.It never withers or fades.It seeks to trip the un careful,And lock a person in place. I have learned to prune such…

  • Owning a Therapy Dog

    It was during a difficult time where my mom suggested that I get an emotional support dog. With nothing else to grab onto for relief, I set to surfing adoption pages and shelter sites for the perfect buddy. I eventually came across two puppies that had been surrendered. I applied immediately for one of them.…

  • The Problem With High Pain Tolerance

    When a person goes through a lot of medical challenges starting from a young age, the way pain is interpreted is changed. I’ve always had a high pain tolerance. My parents noticed that from the time I broke my first bone. Once again I said it was broken and the doctor did not believe me…

  • Eating Chicken Nugget Stars With Cougars February 19th

    Perspective: first person The dream starts out simple enough. I am with family at a plant nursery expo. My mother is looking for a certain type of pot and I’m bored. It’s OK though, I’m meeting with friends in a bit for a few hours. It is dark out but not quite dinner time yet.…

  • Robots in The Mega Store February 18th

    Perspective: 1st person I’m in a mega store with family. It seems like everything is carried here. The front where I somehow remembered coming in had more crafts and decor items, but the further back I go the more it opens up. Everything from antiques to clothes and food have their own respective departments. The…