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Disabled Dreamer

Author: Nicole Kinzel

  • Sometimes Barriers Exist For a Reason

    Sometimes, the first impulse I get when I see a barrier, railing, or window is that tiny little goblin mode voice of intrusive thought that says “Run through it!”. Everyone gets those little intrusive thoughts. Does not mean that I nor anyone else would act on them. Often these thoughts are just simple “what if…

  • Letter to a Surrendered Pet

    Dear Samba, I’m sorry I will no longer be able to feed you walnuts to cheer you or scratch your itchy head myself. Listen to you bird purr as you eat popcorn or feel you rubbing on my towel after a shower. Sing to music or scream like a little girl at a random airplane…

  • Trying to Date While Disabled

    I’ll start with what everyone else is thinking: dating sucks. You can put your best foot forward towards anyone and it can end up being a huge waste of time. I also understand that it is nobody’s right in life to date. Everyone is human though and desires to be loved, respected, and cherished in…

  • Grief Poem

    I scream. So the tears have meaning. So I demand notice. So the thoughts are drowned out. I scream. *** I cry. When words fail. When the hurt is too great. When that need stays empty. I cry. *** I hate. The hollow pain. The electric ache. The feeling of the end. I hate. ***…

  • The Path Poem

    I see the ground before me.The ground broken by many feet before mine.I can see myself walking the same path in my own mind.I want to go down this same path. I strain every muscle in my legs to move.Will my feet to touch the ground and thrive.I can almost convince myself it is happening.So…

  • Inspiration Poem

    Waves flow over. Drowning out the uncertain. The current starts as a salve on the skin. Water warming instead of burning open cuts. Becoming exciting electric in time. *** I drink the earth and the skies. I taste the flavors of the variations of reality. Entire worlds in mind’s eye. Alluring distorted mirror. I bathe…

  • Writer’s Block

    I have struggled with writer’s block off and on the entire time I’ve been writing. What it took awhile to figure out was how many types of writer’s block there actually are and that it was what I was struggling with. From my my perspective, writer’s block comes in two main categories of different rarity…

  • The Value of Limit Testing

    Once when I was little, I sat in a pool safely on my mother’s lap. My younger sister was swimming contentedly at the deep end. It looked so easy. “I think I can swim. I want to try,” I state confidently. “No you can’t,” my mom replied with zero hesitation. “Your contractures are too bad.”…

  • Existence Prose

    Being in this world is like sinking but sometimes you float instead.  You feel like one way is up but gravity has flipped while you were not looking.  You swim to move forward but sometimes your fins have been replaced with wings and one must learn to fly.  Air and water sometimes feel identical.  Neither…

  • The Dark Poem

    Time flies. A toddler sits alone in a room. Dark. Shadows watch from the dim blank wallpaper. Silent eyes. *** Time flies. A young child stays up one night. Terrified. Shadows have grown fangs out of sight. Quiet mocking. *** Time flies. A teen is pulling an all nighter. Calm. Fangs have fallen out useless.…