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Disabled Dreamer

Author: Nicole Kinzel

  • Lawn Weeds Poem

    A woman strains. Fingers choking the weeds that choke the lawn. Pulling until the cracking roots give way. Dark earth heaving with a final breath. Spikey leaves aching to return the favor. Only for her to do it all over again. *** The sun beats down. Back screaming in protest. She enjoys it as much…

  • Medicine Advertisements And Labels Poem

    There’s something odd about medical ads. Big text about living with an ailment. Smile on face like one would have during a party with friends. Sometimes with a real name behind the face but always with purpose. A precise play for something more. A facade. *** Perhaps it’s like visiting a circus. People with rare…

  • Under Pressure Poem

    Depression creeps in under the dark of night. Loneliness swaps places with my friends. Anxiety became a watchman long ago. Hope carries a box almost too big for it. Happiness is often on vacation. My mind is under pressure. *** Joints ache from the lack of use. Bruises form at the slightest extra push. I…

  • Forewarned 1.0 Update

    One of the few horror games I really enjoy is Forewarned by Dreambyte Games. It’s a blast with friends and a challenge solo. Similar to Phasmophobia in design but with its own unique mechanics. Of course it is also Egyptian mythos themed. Its identity separates it entirely from the other games in the same genre…

  • Remnant 2 Forgotten Kingdom DLC

    I have been a fan of the Remnant game franchise by Arc Games for years. I was introduced initially to Remnant: From The Ashes by a YouTube video. I was blown away so much by the game that I closed the video and went to go play it myself. Thematically, both games are a unique…

  • Hair Cut Poem

    I cut my hair to let it flow. Let the change take hold. Let the inside come out. The ideas rain like the fallen strands. Shiny and sometimes golden. But never discarded. *** I cut my hair to let it break out. The feelings that overwhelm. Clawing at my inner brain. An animal that I…

  • Ongoing Medical Mystery

    It all started with a blood test. I got a routine full blood panel done because of past issues. Everything looked fine except one result: my d dimer came back elevated at 0.7. Those that have had similar results would probably know how bad that is. It’s an indication of a high probability of blood…

  • Why I Love Video Games

    It is not a lie that the internet is a great equalizer. No matter the background of a person, they can connect to the internet and have access to the same things everyone else does. Unless you live in a country with censorship, a person has access to the same research, communities, news, and entertainment.…

  • My Body Poem

    I look in the mirror and detest what I see. All the little things that are signs of disability. Joints that are at once too flexible and stiff and shape undone with muscle. Something subhuman and a failed replica of life. Would you believe me through? That I can’t identify anything in particular I would…

  • Routine Poem

    I enter the day. It is the same as every other day. Same views, scents, and tastes. Predictable down to every activity. It may soothe the heart, But it rots the mind. *** I enter the day. I have no idea what to expect. New views, scents, and tastes. Diluted chaos down to every second.…