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Disabled Dreamer

Author: Nicole Kinzel

  • The End Of a Saga (Kinova Jaco Robotic Arm)

    I beat the insurance level on difficulty extreme. Almost a year after demoing the piece equipment, I finally own it. And all it took was patience and mild legal threats. I felt like giving up at several points but the company advocate got me through it. Better yet, I helped by winning. The approval decision…

  • Soft Voice Poem

    Never mistake a soft voice for a person being fine. For even a whimper is a sign of distress. All that is possible to muster. Nevertheless dire. A last ditch cry for help. Or the only one that there is energy for. *** Not everyone has the nature of red hot steel. Biting back equally…

  • SOS

    My most prized possession is my pc. To own it I had to take out a loan from my father since my social security pays so little. I paid it off over a year. It was a long time to have such a financial burden but I had a modern machine that was all mine.…

  • Mermaids Poem

    I wanted to be a mermaid as a little kid. Firmly believing that they could exist in some unknown corner of the earth. Like the drawings in the corner of ancient maps along with sea monsters. But the monsters were never my fascination as I paged through mermaid lore books for children. I felt like…

  • Creaks Poem

    My life is filled with the sound of creaking. It never keeps me awake. In fact, it is so common that it puts me to sleep. An unusual lullaby I enjoy. That fills the silence. Harsh tone turned soothing. *** I hear that creaking in the floorboards. Underfoot as my mom passes by my bedroom.…

  • Support Poem

    There are days I am breaking down. Crumbling from the top to the bottom. Heart unable to stand on its own. The darkness much deeper than it has ever been before. Those days are the ones where I need support the most. *** I rely on those little gestures. From an unasked for hug to…

  • Bite Back Poem

    It turns out I have teeth. I never even knew. I thought they had been pulled out long ago. Lost to disuse and the rest pulled out by him. Too scared to even check even when threatened. For I know how weak I am. *** But he bit me first and I bit back. I…

  • Playground Woes Poem

    Playgrounds are an innocent place. Built for childhood fun and exploration. Where one could touch the sky using the swings. Escaping gravity and embracing imagination. Wondering if one could take flight entirely. Why then was I often bothered by the playground? *** It was not because of my disability. No, it only happened under certain…

  • Letter To My Dad

    To the object of my pain and loathing. You wonder why I can be so cold to you. The reason why is because I remember. I remember because you never give me time to heal. I am surrounded by signs of you not caring about me or those I love. I want to return back…

  • The Body Remembers Poem

    I know how I felt that day. Even if I buried it along time ago. An era of sharp needles pointed directly at my soft spot. Long blunted by time and covered by an obscuring blanket. Until I can no longer remember the details. Hopefully lost forever. *** Part of me still feels it still.…