It was laid brick by brick. Wall by wall right in front of my face. There before I even realized it was built. Created in the dark. Meant to block out the light. The only wall that can build itself. *** I am told to move forward and I try. My forehead has met brick…

It all falls apart. I am struggling to hold on. It breaks as easily as ash and floats away just as easily. Crumbling like the softest of lead put against sandpaper. The harder I grab, the faster it falls apart. Maybe I was never meant to hold on so tight in the first place. ***…

It started at the beginning. Irritated. Standing on end. Brushy. Bottle brush. Roughshod. Praying to God. Regret. Searching for peace. Pulling back. Overcorrected. Seesaw over dynamite. Gotta get it right. Balance found. Homeostasis. Do not move. Not a muscle. Until pushed off balance again.

How different a person can be from minute to minute. It keeps you guessing. It keeps me guessing. Led only by the thump thump of a heart. Does not even have to be their own. As long as they own it for the moment. *** Ten minutes ago, I was at rest. Simply going with…

I try to communicate with you. My deepest needs expressed loudly. I need help. Help in a way only you can help me with. I have tried every language that you might know. Every language that I know. Yet you cannot hear me. *** It is like I am talking to you through walls. Incoherent…

If you had the power, would you use it? To make your own life better. To make the life of other people better. Putting your dreams to reality like a great backbone. Putting your hopes free upon the land. It sounds great does it not? *** But what about those you do not know? Those…

I know I am not a main character. Not more important than anyone else. Not more innocent than anyone else. Unique in my own way. But nothing is cut and dry. Life is more complicated than that. *** I could be the one. Overcoming all the trials put before me. Overcoming what might break other…

Insane how fast a few decades went. It feels like just yesterday I was digging through the bargain bin of DS games in GameStop with my mom. I always did try and butter her up for more. If you had told me I would not own a single one by now, I would have called…

I never do a thing half done. It is my life moto and history. The fastest way to get on my bad side is to assume lesser of me. To ignore the miracle and effort of making it so far. To assume what you cannot see does not exist. Lesser in willpower or practice. So…

I can almost see it, even as acrid bile sits on the back of my tongue. A world so different from the one I am in. Where I was never sick to begin with. Given the easy road instead of this intolerable trial. How wonderfully boring that must be. Searching for struggle outside of survival.…