If I am to go out. Please let it be with me fighting. At least it will give me the illusion of chance. Illusion of choice. So I might come to a conclusion on my own. Without surprises or untold limits. *** If I am to go down. Let it be in a way I…

Believe me when I speak. For my words come from the heart. Are measured by the brain. Tempered by the tongue. Designed to bridge the gap. But reach you in the middle. *** Believe me when I think. For I think with you in mind. Trying to design a better path for the both of…

I exist in a dark place and it exists above me. Radiant. Defined. Blinding. Like an alien spaceship just out of reach. Watching. Alluring. Mysterious. A better place than where I was before. Protective. Promising. Trustworthy. The dark a horror I will barely escape from. Evil. Dangerous. Confusing. Perhaps the light would treat me better.…

As soon as I saw that familiar blue screen I knew I was in trouble. It would not be a simple fix for it never was. But maybe it was a one time error. Maybe I could continue as I was. I was already so stressed. Just not a good time but it never was.…

Some people believe in a God. All powerful being cleansing of all wrong. Allowing growth into a better person. Remaining unattached to guilt and loathing. Not flawless in origin but better now. A human known for learning from mistakes and not for them. *** I put forth a question for both those that do and…

I sit patiently in the waiting room lobby tucked into a corner. I have to be patient because patient is my role. Waiting as long as it takes to get help. Even if it takes hours. Surrounded by others in better or worse condition. Yet always the same position. *** I look around and see…

You are doing enough. Working to the level you can. Living without judgment from me. Unique and beautiful even if facing problems I do not know the exact details of. Striving to move forward in your own way. I never have kept it record of your failures. *** I worry I am not doing enough.…

People say diamonds are created under pressure. That may be true. They say that people work the same way. That is a horrible simplification. Heavy with blame and dark failure. Towards those that collapse under the crushing wait and confused as to what they did wrong. *** Diamonds form under very specific circumstances. They start…

I hate it when they are right. It cements them in their ways. Even if wrong in everything else. Detestable confidence. Hated power. Unobtainable level far beyond me. *** I hate it when I am right. It makes no impact in the end. Simple to me but incomprehensible to them. No apology ever given in…

I lay on my back on the grass. The sky stares in return. Neither of us seem to be able to come to conclusion about the other. Just quiet regard. Wind, birds, and other sounds distant passing guests. Leaving the two of us in a silent stare down. *** It used to scare me as…