Part of me simply does not understand.

I could list every step I took.

Logic followed like the flow of a river.

Reasoning explained and justified to you and myself.

But that river feels like it runs apart from me.

A story about a dream or character.

***

How did I get here?

I understand yet I do not.

A mystery to myself.

A trick of the self that I never did on purpose.

Or maybe I secretly did.

I could never tell.

***

It is an isolation of self.

A sealing of the experience.

All other is rejected for it is foreign.

Unrecognized and unsorted.

Mine yet not.

The worst not belonging to me.

***

So, how did I get here?

It is the result of the best of worst outcomes.

The most tolerable poison chosen after careful examination.

Unwanted but required.

Perhaps it will remain sealed like a trap or get triggered again someday.

All I know is life bought me here.