There are things I regret.

Choices that I might have made differently.

If only I had more information at the time.

Running through my head like phantoms.

Mocking my feelings and rejecting the past.

Saying that the fault is solely my own.

***

Other times I regret what I could not control.

Knowledge that others should have known.

Ways I have been failed.

Those phantoms are no better.

They howl and serenade me about the lack of control I have.

Tell me that whatever I do has no impact.

***

The blessing is that these two types of spirits are territorial.

They can never exist in the same reality.

Cannibalizing each other until the larger group remains.

That means that anything larger than it is more powerful.

It shrieks at me because I am not small enough to eat.

Relying on verbal aggression to keep me from attacking it.

***

What I need is closure.

A focus on what protects me.

A way to build my own territory.

To shut up those damned spirits for good.

So I never have to bother being scratched again.

So they never have the chance to make me small.