I see my grandma sitting in her favorite chair.

She no longer gets there on her own.

No longer remembers why it is her favorite.

Led by hand out of respect for who she used to be.

Someone that used to be full of life and personality.

Boiled down now to the dregs of a person.

***

I once asked my mom to put me down like a dog if I ever got so bad off.

Absolutely dramatic but said out of genuine feeling.

The process scares the mind and horrifies the heart.

Only first hand experience a true teacher.

Words never enough to portray the emptiness or fall away of self preservation.

Gone long before being six feet under.

***

It is a living dissection.

Layers of slate being peeled off one by one.

Removed by a so very slow invisible knife.

Used by the most skilled surgeon.

Life maintained even as humanity is rendered out of the flesh.

Sculpture that breathes left as a monument to all that was lost.

***

I beg that the knife is kept away from me.

I have had enough of surgery and value my layers especially where my heart is.

I receive so much help already.

People that give up so I might have.

I pray that the day never comes where that effort is lost on me.

Let me hold onto that value at least.