I went into blogging and poetry writing without too many expectations. Maybe a good outlet and a few cents from ads every once in awhile. It was mostly to build a better writing habit in a space where I actually felt pressure to produce. Even if nobody else showed up, the simple threat of someone else might being able to see would reinforce good behavior.

I went into the practice with low expectations not because I did not want to be heard. I absolutely did. I wanted people to hear my thoughts and experiences even if they might be obscure. The possible fame was tantalizing as egotistical as it sounds. I want to be as popular as any other person secretly does. No, I had low expectations because I did not want to be let down. I had become so accustomed to failing with target goals that I did not want to get hurt.

Oh how glad I was to be wrong this time.

Most people go into the new year setting new goals for the future. Rather, I’d like to look back on this instance that I met one I did not even know I had. I see every time someone leaves a like or comment. Every single username that returns. I may not have hundreds but I recognize every single one of you. Every returning name a blessing that makes me smile. Every new name a new possible friend. It sounds cheesy but I never knew what people that called subscribers family meant until this year.  You are the found family that brings joy hanging out with.

For the first time, I am not afraid of making a challenge for myself. I want to achieve for you guys even if sick (as I currently am). It feels greedy to admit it but I want more of those likes and especially comments. Please reach back out to me no matter how minor. I truly do not mind. The only thing I care about is that your traces exist.

Happy new year to everyone. I hope the next twelve months bring you blessings you never expected as well.

~Nicole