I hope I am doing enough.

That my effort is not invisible to your eyes.

Energy spent not wasted.

A relaxing interaction and hangout.

I want to have a good time,

But above all else, I want to see the positive look in your eye when you see me.

***

I feel like I am not doing enough.

That I fall short.

Your expectations underachieved.

Already counting the seconds until I leave.

I know I am but not for the same reason.

Reducing room for error to safeguard my chances.

***

You never said anything negative.

You never had to.

My mind says it for you.

Interpreting every small movement and silence.

Preparing for the worst.

Never expecting the best.

***

My heart races.

Body clammy from the effort of leaping to conclusions.

Praying silently that I am wrong even if I expect the terrible outcome.

I do not think poorly of you.

History was a cruel muse.

I just want your affection while lacking my own.