My life is full of Xs and Os.

Just not the typical kind.

I do not walk through life with a pulse on love.

I accept what comes to me and never expect more.

A way of living that has long been established.

A hope that I have placed snugly in storage.

***

My Xs and Os are both the kind made on paper.

Pinned to the wall for dear life so it does not come crashing down in the dark.

A place for easy reference and a quick glance.

A catalog and history all in one.

Ruled by the date and time.

Trying at all times to be present.

***

My Xs are the days scribbled out.

Trying to erase the day from memory with a simple pen.

A form of death crossed out from existence.

All so I can see the other days a little bit easier.

Relief one line at a time and better with each passing.

Xs are the symbols to let me move forward.

***

Os are the antithesis of my Xs: a symbol of memory.

Marks that highlight a separate kind of importance.

The dates of excitement and peace past or future.

Times I desperately keep record of.

Counting the days to and clinging to the feeling long after.

A record of hope and happiness.

***

The amount of Xs and Os I have might shock you.

Entire forests worth of both but not in equal share.

Why do I always seem to have more Xs than Os?

Both have a purpose so both should be equal in number and strength.

Yet I can recall the Xs so much more quickly.

I suppose that just makes the Os just that more important.