I miss the days of brightly colored concern.

Balloons in all shapes and colors used to bring cheer.

Flowers placed in ornate crystal vases to liven up the room.

Stuffed animals and teddy bears to clean to when you can barely hang on.

A different kind of light that comes from other people.

Love and community chasing the isolation away.

***

I am older now and suddenly those things are never given.

Balloons a child’s whimsy that is considered a thing of the past.

Flowers unnecessary since I have powered through worse.

Stuffed animals thought inappropriate for an adult woman.

My room and the darkness unchanged.

Forced to face my illness one on one.

***

I have no particular love for balloons, flowers or stuffed animals in particular.

But then, where do I turn to for the light?

I am left in isolation with the taste of sickness on the tongue and a heavy weight in my chest.

Wondering about where I should turn to for support.

Empty spaces that used to be filled.

A paper cut out soaked in water until soggy.

***

I have been through alot.

I have been through worse.

But age does not make me immune to pain.

Age does not mean I do not need support.

So never be afraid to bring balloons or even just a little cheer.

For you are bringing me so much more.