My most prized possession is my pc.

To own it I had to take out a loan from my father since my social security pays so little. I paid it off over a year. It was a long time to have such a financial burden but I had a modern machine that was all mine.

It is a great equalizer for me. Allowing me to do the same things you do and play the same games you do. Infinitely adaptable and able to grow or fall away with me. Making up for what I lacked. I made friends and discovered hobbies. Filling roles in life that I struggled to fill. Remaining engaged and stimulated in a way I probably can’t physically.

Better yet, it is an escape. An oasis from the yelling, verbal abuse and a negative environment. Whenever it got too loud, I could just turn the sound up. Creating a world that I could have control over. More control in a virtual avatar than I could ever physically.

But my oasis is now in danger.

It started with random crashes and data corruption. I had it fixed and thought it was solved until it crashed again. It turned out that the culprit was a graphics card that was frying itself and everything around it. Now the money I need to repair it is out of my reach. In the meantime I can’t do the same hobbies or use my regular escape.

At first my narcissistic father offered to help me. I was suspicious but ecstatic. Maybe this time would turn out better. He had recently bought a new family PC that came with the main expensive part I needed by default. It was a part he didn’t need or utilize. He offered to take my broken part and swap it for the newer part since he believed that he could fix the old broken one. I was once again wrong thinking he would help. Mom ordered a Christmas gift on amazon prime day and he lost his mind. The trade was now supposedly my Christmas gift and I had to choose between his “gift” and an actual gift. I was called entitled, brat and selfish. I pointed out how he always values money over family and he told me that I was in a state of psychosis.

I am left again either getting a loan from him again, much to his delight since he forces me to play nice, or find another way to pay for the part. This leads me to my SOS. I have created a gofundme in an attempt to avoid his strings. Please share it around. I never expect money from those that are are also in tough situations. I just really want a way out.

https://gofund.me/afbca02d