Doctor, please, do you have anything for the pain?

I’m not really asking for a perfect cure.

Just make it a little more tolerable.

Just so I might sleep easily with myself.

Think with a clear unclouded head.

Unburdened.

***

The doctor answers my please with those little round pills.

Always a month’s supply at once or a little more.

Taken once a day early in the morning.

Riding the effects until the sun dies in the dark.

Knowing that it is never immediately effective.

I must be patient and hold on.

***

Doctor, please, is it even worth it?

It may treat the problem, but created half a dozen more smaller ones.

An existence divided yet the exact same in total.

Body and mind struggling under an extreme weight.

Mental pain made physically manifest or the opposite.

Hated side effects.

***

The doctor hears my please and answers with different little round pills.

The cycle begins again.

Or maybe different this time.

A roll of the dice and complete chance.

Spelling a worsening of my life or betterment.

Like a gambling addict I will continue until I hit the best outcome.