I know that everyone has a funny bone.

A reaction to a sudden stimulus that does not feel like expected.

It makes some people laugh and others cry.

Some people interpret it as entertainment and others a kind of pain that does not really hurt.

Often taking the breath away no matter which one.

Be it positive or negative.

***

I think I might need a cast.

My funny bone was broken long ago.

I don’t seem to react in an unexpected way anymore.

I laugh less than before and know what makes me cry.

Something caused a fracture a long time ago.

And it healed crooked.

***

I know it’s more than a pattern.

Things used to be different.

I felt both positive and negative emotions whenever that funny bone was hit.

But now all it seems to do is hurt.

That pain that is not a pain the only outcome.

It is no longer equal.

A one sided connection where there should be two.

***

I am not asking for a break in the other direction.

Or to feel only the highs until they are boring.

Just to let the highs exist.

To hit my funny bone and laugh until I cannot breathe.

Tears streaming down my face in the best way.

For the world to be interpreted as a joyful blur for just the moment.

***

I am not asking for it for longer than a moment either.

For everyone needs to breathe eventually.

Just to have those little unexpected moments of joy.

Completely out of nowhere and with a different form of pain without hurting.

One I embrace instead of hate.

Creating memories that I love