I got body image issues from one.

Early control that had long lasting impact.

Emulated behavior that placed looks above golden happiness.

Worry of judgment that became my own.

At an early age looking sadly at the thickness of my arms.

Trying to do what was portrayed as right and realizing it was unobtainable.

***

I received depression from the other.

A trait that came and went like I was a shape shifter.

Being told that no amount of effort would ever be enough.

That only obedience would ever be rewarded.

From an early age being told that my dreams are impossible.

The slow realization that I did not have proper support and they might be right because of their actions.

***

These traits are the ones I hate the most.

That I wish I could pry from my cells and memory.

Traits that I fight against every waking moment.

Ignoring that crafty little voice that says that I am not good enough.

A common little mental disease that follows around like a demon.

Trying to make me a simple sum of the worst traits.

***

None of these traits I will ever pass on.

They will remain buried.

Too invisible to ever emulate.

A burden that ends with me.

I wish it was not my burden either but the least I can do is stop it.

Part of my code that does not define me and no other after.