The day I went under came.

And I did not return the same.

I went under out of responsibility.

And came out changed.

Carried by another.

Responsibility no longer my own.

***

What is surprising is that a new fear remains.

Of what if I had kept under.

Left to drown in the deep I had let myself fall in.

Held down by many hands giving me what I asked for.

A dark and painful oblivion.

Even if I still remain.

***

I was not held down.

Instead I was lifted to the light.

A perspective different from what I was used to.

Same soul in a different condition.

Treated with a golden kindness and care.

A blessing I did not expect to receive.

***

Would you agree to be put under?

Even though the fear might remain.

Even though you feel like the worst outcome might happen.

Do you feel like you deserve it?

The darkest oblivion or that golden kindness.

For which do you agree to go under?