I have recently discovered that no matter what you try to do, there are some people who you can never please.

Disabled people that need physical care often end up with multiple caregivers at once. Especially those that need a significant amount of help. Relying on one caregiver for too long can burn them out physically or mentally. If you are not lucky to have a long term personal aid or nurse, often there’s a revolving door of short term nurses/aids.

During my life so far I have encountered a multitude of different types of nurses. I have encountered the sweet, the rough, the clumsy, and even those that I doubt the legitimacy of their license. All of them went into the job for different reasons. Some did it for the medical experience and others just took it for a more relaxed environment compared to the hospital. Some of these people took it for less benign reasons. The control or power.

The people that do have more negative tendencies or behaviors create a problem. Do you let them go and increase the burden on the other caregivers? Do you buckle down and just take it so you don’t disappoint anyone? It is a hard spot where it can be hard to balance everything. Especially when your life is so interconnected to multiple other people. There are a few truths however that I think are important.

Nurses are supposed to help and not make your life worse. Disabled people did not ask to be disabled and often prefer to go without when they can, therefore they don’t deserve to have to degrade their lives. Some caregivers are simply incompatible with patients. Their care is sometimes not good enough or they have behaviors that are a negative influence. With all this in mind, I am here to give you the permission you might not be able to give yourself. Fire that one nurse or terminate that one aid. Granted some people can’t fire their caregiver such as if it’s a parent. In the case you find yourself in a similar position with an aid however: be kind to yourself.