Perspective: first person

I am sitting in my bedroom. It’s the day that Samba my bird goes to the rescue. He is being transferred to a carry cage. Another bird remains in the cage. One I had to send to another home in real life much earlier for beating up my oldest. “This isn’t right” I think but my grief towards losing the other distracts me. I watch him beep at me as he is carried out of the room. I attempt to follow him but my bedroom door is shut before I can follow.

I’m incredibly upset and cry. I look at the other bird still in the cage and all I can think is “It’s not the same”. There is no connection. No warmth echoed back at me. No companionship. Something important has been lost and I can’t chase out that bedroom door after it.

The dream fast forwards. It’s a new day but the grief is not any less. My hair is wet from a shower and mom is cooking food. It’s the morning of some kind of holiday or family event. People are coming over later and I truly don’t feel like seeing anyone. In my sadness, I pull up the website for the parrot rescue and look at their listed birds. Previously when I have looked in real life, the list is not complete and asks you to call for a complete list. In the dream I remembered this but checked anyway. Shockingly the list was complete now. Very quickly I identified Samba my bird. The only caique listed. There was immediately a problem to me. They had misspelled his name as Sumnba instead of Samba.

Out of everything else, that mistake absolutely breaks me emotionally. I start absolutely sobbing and start to follow my mom around the house to show her the horrible mistake. She doesn’t hear me though. She is too busy cooking and talking to someone visiting.

I am chided for interrupting.

I continue to sob. Eventually I wake up from the grief. Alone and with still real emotional pain.