I’m going to come out right from the start before I get anyone’s hopes up: I don’t have a solid answer. Everyone is unique and has ways that work better for them than other people. People often have multiple different ways to feel better as well. I can however share observations and the more important conclusion of: some ways work better than others overall.

Major or minor, everyone has to heal from something in life. I could be from a physical trauma like a broken leg or an emotional pain like a break up. It could also be as simple as a paper cut or just a sad feeling day. Everyone has a different pain tolerance and that also applies to both types of pain. A person that gets a bruise might shrug it off or immediately reach for a soothing ointment. Both reactions are valid. Both are dictated by what that person has the physical and mental stamina for. A person can be incredibly tough and usually shrug off a bruise, but if they already have too many bruises and cuts everywhere else, they might reach for that relief anyway. People just need relief sometimes. Looking for a fix is also the first step of any healing. A broken leg needs a cast and maybe that ice cream cone might just be what a broken heart calls for. Everyone needs something different depending on the person and circumstances.

I have identified two very distinct types of “fixes”. The first of which is what I will call the arrow method. Quick fix treatments that might be exactly what a person needs short term but becomes reckless with time. A person can get a cast for a broken leg but they can’t and shouldn’t try living in the cast after the leg is healed. A person can absolutely have that ice cream cone but if it becomes an entire carton or a meal replacement, that person will become sick. Opioids are a horrible fix long term and video games can isolate if used for too long as a distraction. Things that are good and fine on their own but create more issues when used as more than a stopgap. It also applies financially. That shopping spree to bring back your power cannot be a maintained habit and that casino visit is a poor idea as more than a very rare habit. If you are not careful, you will end up as a pincushion with the arrow method for fixing things.

The second type is the kind that I call the anchor method. Something that can make the lows less low but have no negative side effects. Perhaps a pet you can check in on or music you love to listen to while you work. An antidepressant for depression or for a badly broken heart. These things can lift a person up without causing more issues. When managed responsibily at least. The wonderful thing is that these are not the only options either. There are as many ways to feel better than there are problems. I take comfort from that thought alone. No matter how bad a person is feeling, there is a good and proper answer out there to give them that little extra push through the day.