I’ll start with what everyone else is thinking: dating sucks. You can put your best foot forward towards anyone and it can end up being a huge waste of time. I also understand that it is nobody’s right in life to date. Everyone is human though and desires to be loved, respected, and cherished in only the way a partner can. Equals and accepted in total for better or for worse. The problem happens when people are concerned that it will be for worse and for worse.

The very definition of a disability is a deviation in physical or mental existence from what is considered average and acts as a hindrance. When people usually attempt to date, they target people that they see as on the same level as them or higher. Even the mention that someone might be dating down is considered a negative criticism. Disability in essence is seen as a very obvious indication of limitations and complications and therefore often seen as dating down. That does not mean that disabled people get zero interest in the dating field. Difficulty however significantly increases on a sliding scale with how obvious and significant said disability is. Other factors like personality do very little to change the level of interest.

The guys (or girls) that still express interest you always have to be very very careful with. All kinds of creeps show up out of the woodwork when they sense weakness. I’ve encountered everything from green card seekers, the mentally insane, the extremely openly narcissistic, the desperate, the incel, disability fetishists, and those just looking for what seems like an easy religious convert. It ranges from the rediculous to downright dangerous. A danger in dating that most people don’t have to think about as hard. Disabled people can be very vulnerable in person so choosing the right kind of character in a partner is incredibly important.

Forcing yourself to not compromise your morals and settle is also an added dimension of difficulty. I have been tempted over and over again to lower my standards for the sake of love. Like anyone else I don’t want to end up alone forever. I also rely on a caregiver and a partner is a very tempting safety net. I have to stay true to myself and not force love. Settling would just be sacrificing comfort for stability. I don’t deserve to be in a bad situation. I deserve better and will keep searching.