Caregivers of disabled people need help. That is a fact. Parents of disabled people or older relatives in a caregiver position need it especially. Someone to give them a breather and reduce the amount of tension in the daily life. The help becomes even doubly necessary if the caregiver doesn’t have a reliable partner to help share the load.

At home nursing is the obvious answer to the need for help. There are even many areas that provide free in home nursing. I’m lucky enough to be in one of those areas since I live in California. In theory, disabled people can receive an appropriate amount of necessary care while giving the main caregiver a break. In practice however, there are severe limitations.

The first limitation is the amount it pays the nurse. Pay is much lower than private pay or what a hospital would provide. Granted it provides nurses with a slower pace and more flexible schedule, but because of this most nurses decide to work at a hospital instead or only work in home health while in schooling for a higher level of nursing. Those that still decide to work for an agency usually are older or are unable to seek higher certification. The life of a disabled person often becomes a revolving door of new nurses until they find one they can eventually stay with long term. It’s very mentally draining to continuously have to open yourself up to a total stranger in order to receive care. Matters of hygiene in particular can feel humiliating with a stranger. I’ll be the first one to admit that I acted like a total brat to new nurses as a little girl simply because I didn’t know how to process what I was feeling properly. Problems do not end with that however.

The biggest issue is a lack of choice in nursing. Because of a lack of nurses available in an area at any given time, a person is often stuck with whatever nurse is placed with them. No matter the compatibility of character or level of professionalism, you can not ask for a different nurse because some help is better than none. I have gone six years without a nurse before. It’s a serious challenge for my mom to go that long without help. No matter what kind of treatment I receive, the fear of my mom being put in another situation like that is always hanging over both my mothers and I head. Granted, not every nurse I’ve had has been horrible but the amount I have had that is is completely unacceptable. I should not be forced to sacrifice mental well being for physical.

Overall this is a hidden problem in society. Maybe even a first world problem, but a huge amount of people are impacted. Private nursing is incredibly expensive while those that need it are often too disabled to work and earn the money to do so. Therefore, state/government care is where the change has to happen. There is no easy solution but I refuse to bottle up my feelings on this matter.