Because of my fragile disposition, it’s not a surprise that I needed medical intervention surgically early on. I was about three years old when I started having failure to thrive issues with not eating enough. I was dropping an unhealthy amount of weight and had minor choking issues with food. I would just run out of steam physically before I had eaten a healthy amount. With the guidance of a specialist doctor, my parents made the decision to put in a feeding tube.

There are several types of feeding tubes available. The one that people are the most familiar with are the kind that go down through the nose. Nasal feeding tubes are not a good option for a more permanent setting. The more permanent kind is inserted directly into the stomach through the upper abdomen wall. A hole is drilled through skin and the front of the stomach in a surgical setting. The feeding tube acts like a one way valve and plugs the hole completely. It is held in by a water filled balloon to keep it from falling out. The lowest profile version possible was chosen for me. It is almost completely invisible under the shirt. I’m, and have always been, happy with the choice. My mom was very upset though when I woke up after the surgery and started crying. It also bothered her when I was mentally altered by the pre sedation. Apparently I was seeing invisible butterflies which is hilarious in retrospect.

It is very convenient to use. Whenever I am sick or too weak to eat, I can get a liquid formula alternative. It isn’t as easy as you would expect though. The device itself needs to be changed every six months for sanitary and safety reasons. To change it the balloon is drained, medical lubricant is applied, and it is yanked out. The new one then has to go in as fast as possible to reduce the chance of skin misalignment. Bleeding often occurs and pain in unavoidable. Outside of the changing, skin overgrowth is often a concern if the body decides to try and heal the hole. Excess skin can be super sensitive and painful. In order to calm it back down, a chemical burn is applied to burn off the skin. Depending on the severity this takes multiple attempts.

Getting the tube caught on clothes and things is also a concern. I have had it ripped out on accident before and it is not pleasant. When you are forced to live a certain way however you learn to make due and deal. You never get used to pain but I persist. I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon either.

If you have specific questions about it, feel free to ask. I don’t mind sharing tips or information.