There was never any particular moment when I realized that I was different. In reality, it was a series of smaller events that cemented the divide. Before I mention any of those though, it’s important to specify my disability type.

I have spinal muscular atrophy type one also known as SMA type 1. It is a recessive genetic disability inherited from both parents and it affects my body’s ability to make a specific protein needed for motor neuron repair. Motor neurons are the connections between the spine and muscles. This causes a lot of issues with moving consciously controlled muscles. The damage is progressive but I am very lucky all things considered. People with my specific type of SMA usually die before age two and those that do survive tend to not be able to move at all. I am a complete outlier that continues to defy expectations.

As cool as that sounds however, it has been a very rough ride. The worst part of which, in my opinion, is not the medical complications but the assumptions people make when they see I’m in a wheelchair. One of the early core memories I have when I was very little was approaching a girl about my age in a hardware store to say hello. I was with my father and so was she. The only difference was when I zipped up to her, her father hid her behind his legs like he assumed that I would hurt her. I had been incredibly confused at the time. It just didn’t make sense to a little kids’ brain. Only when I got older and had similar experiences did I notice the pattern. Granted I naturally became MUCH less outgoing as I got older but the realization that I would be assumed dumb or incompetent because of the existence of a wheelchair did not help my self esteem.

On a more positive note: I would not be the person that I am today without the disability experience. It has given me an unusual level of patience and problem solving skills. I also enjoy helping others since I understand how valuable help can be from personal experience. It feels good to give back when I can. It also taught me how to better rely on my faith as a Christian as I can’t physically rely on myself. It is important to not lose track of positives in life. Without an anime level of unshakable nature I probably would have died years ago and I would prefer to continue that winning streak.